


Rumors and Volcanoes

by westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist



Category: The West Wing
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2001-02-16
Updated: 2001-02-16
Packaged: 2019-05-15 12:50:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,824
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14790836
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist/pseuds/westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist
Summary: Rumors, romance, poker games, and a field trip





	1. Rumors and Volcanoes

**Author's Note:**

> A copy of this work was once archived at National Library, a part of the [ West Wing Fanfiction Central](https://fanlore.org/wiki/West_Wing_Fanfiction_Central), a West Wing fanfiction archive. More information about the Open Doors approved archive move can be found in the [announcement post](http://archiveofourown.org/admin_posts/8325).

Rumors and Volcanoes

Summary: Rumors, romance, poker games, and a field trip. (Sequel to "Dreams and Decaf").

Category: Josh/Donna, Sam/Mallory

Rating: PG

***********

"So we're going then," I said resignedly. Brooke nodded. "If you don't complain and don't screw up the next ten days, you may be able to talk your way out of it," she said. I sighed and shook my head. "I'm already stuck," I said. Brooke gave me a curious look. "What'd you do?"

"I... mocked Notre Dame."

"Oh, Josh, not right after they were trounced by Penn State."

"In the presence of the President."

"Josh, you are an idiot, you know that?"

"Yes, I am aware of that. I was informed by Sam, CJ, Bonnie, Toby, Leo, Donna, and now you."

"Truth hurts, buddy." I was about to make a comeback when CJ burst in. "Brooke, we have a potential disaster!" she cried. "What?" Brooke asked. "Steve knows about Josh and Donna."

"No."

"And he claims to have leaked it to a few other reporters."

"No!"

"Yeah."

"Where'd they get it?"

"Hi, thanks for talking about me like I'm here." I waved at the two nearly panicked women. CJ gave me a look. A moment later I was outside my Brooke's office with the parting words of "If you're not here we can talk about you like that" from CJ. On my way back to my office, I ran into Ainsley. "Hey, Josh, have you seen Sam?" she asked in that Southern accent that I suspect is fake, but I'll never say that. I'm afraid of having my butt kicked like Sam. "No, sorry," I said as I rushed by. I arrived at the bullpen to find Donna standing in front of her desk, arms folded across her chest, glaring at me. "Uh-oh," I said. " 'Uh-oh' is right," she said. "I've gotten three phone messages asking 'Is Josh Lyman involved in a relationship with his secretary?'"

***********

I was more than a little pissed. I'd known that it would become public eventually... but it had always been an eventually. I glared at Josh even more when he asked:

"What'd you say?"

"Nothing, those were voice mails. You wanna explain this?"

"I can. See, somehow a reporter found out and leaked it to a few others, but CJ and Brooke are handling it."

"Good." I turned and started to walk out of his office. "Donna," Josh said, coming around the desk. I turned back to him. "You're not mad at me, are you?" he asked, looking a little scared of the answer. I smiled and walked over to him. "Of course not," I said before giving him a kiss.

***********

I sat on Brooke's desk, swinging my feet. Sam was sitting on the couch, and Brooke was pacing the room. "Stop it," Sam said. "I'm getting paranoid." 

"So what else is new? We need to work here. Sam, any ideas?"

"Specific truth might be good. Tell 'em the truth and nothing else." Brooke shook her head. "No, we wanna get reelected. I say flat out lie and deny any and all claims. Until second term. Then it can be on 'only tell if asked' basis."

"Okay, I'll tell CJ." Sam stood and left the room. I sighed and followed him.

I stood apprehensively in the Press Room, watching the Briefing. "And last, the numbers for the national debt are out. It's hit 5.75 trillion, which means that everyone in here owes us about 12.7 million dollars." The reporters laughed as CJ said, "Okay, questions? Arthur?"

"Is Josh Lyman having an affair with his assistant?"

"No."

"Are you sure?"

"Well, yeah, pretty sure, since I work with Josh on a daily basis. Also, contrary to popular belief, Josh's love life- or lack thereof- is not front-page news."

"How about second page?"

"People, please. Josh is single and available. That should keep your young female readers happy. Now, serious questions?"

I sighed and grinned as attention was turned to other, more important matters. One near disaster avoided.

***********

By Saturday, rumors in the Press Room were basically gone, and life had returned to it's normal routine. Brooke and Sam crashed in Josh's office. I'd commandeered Josh's desk, relegating him to the couch. "Anyway, I'm on Capitol Beat Monday with our favorite Chief of Staff for the opposition, Ann Stark," Brooke said. "Plus I'm spending the whole day in hell, arguing about an education bill that will never get past committee." Sam smiled sympathetically. Josh turned to me and asked, "I'm not working with her then, right?" I nodded. "Yeah, why?"

"Cause when she gets really mad, she scares me." Brooke laughed. "How?"

"When you're just angry, you yell and shout and hit things."

"I do not hit things."

"You knocked a picture off Josh's wall once, when you hit the wall."

"Oh."

"But when you're really pissed, you just get deadly calm, drop all sarcasm. Trust me, it scares the hell out of however you're fighting with." Brooke gave him an odd look, then said in a very calm, scary voice, "What makes you think I'm going to get that angry, Josh?" Josh and Sam exchanged fearful glances, then Josh said, "Okay, subject change." Sam nodded. "Absolutely."

"So... who's being forced on this joyride to Washington?"

"We're going to Oregon and Mount St. Helens, Josh."

"Yeah, whatever. Who's going?" I grabbed a file off his desk and opened it. "Um... The President, Josh, me, Brooke, and Toby. According to Josh's notes on the side, Sam'll be speechwriter, Brooke will be Acting Press Secretary, POTUS will be spouter of inane facts, and Josh will be looking for an escape hatch. Also coming will be Charlie, Zoey and various aides and the normal quota of Secret Service and Air Force One people." CJ had stuck her head in and listened to my litany of people. "Josh doesn't have to wear a hat?" she asked incredulously. "No, but I have to write a ten page report on the mountain."

"I don't care! He should have to wear a hat!"

"Different punishments for different people, CJ." The President's voice made us leap to our feet and voice various greetings. He waved us back into our seats. "Sit down. Do you have any idea how paranoid a person can get when everyone jumps up whenever they enter the room?" Sam replied, "I'd imagine very paranoid, sir." Brooke asked, "Sir, why is Sam coming instead of Toby? No offense to Sam, but Toby is more prepared for this." A familiar evil grin came over the Commander in Chief's face. "Alcalculia," he said simply. Sam groaned. "I thought you got over that," he said. Josh looked confusedly from Sam to Bartlet. "What?"

"You were at home during that incident."

"Oh.... No one's going to tell me about it?"

"Yeah."

"Okay." The President stood, as did we. "I'll see you tomorrow," he said heading off in the direction of the East Wing. "Alcalculia?"

"Inability to perform arithmatic functions."

"Okay."

***********

Two days before we were to go on our trip, Sam, CJ, Mallory, Donna and I gathered at Brooke's apartment for a poker game. Sam and Mallory were practically in each others laps the whole game, which CJ and Brooke tormented them about. Donna won almost everyone's money, even though Brooke and CJ kept going in the kitchen and planning. By the end of the evening, we were on various pieces of furniture throughout Brooke's living room. Sam and Mal were sharing a chair, while CJ occupied another one. Brooke was sprawled over a couch, and Donna and I were sitting on the other one. Donna had her head on my chest with my arm across her shoulders. "I really don't want to go," I began. Everyone glared at me. Risking possible bodily harm, I continued. "When I'm President, I'll never make my staff go to any National Parks."

"When you're President?"

"Sure, why not?"

"Who'd be on this Staff?"

"Sam as my chief of Staff, definitely." Sam glowered at Brooke and CJ, who nearly fell off their respective seats laughing. Ignoring them, I continued. "Leo as VP."

"That's smart."

"CJ could remain as Press Secretary, and Brooke could be the Communications Director."

"Who'd be my Deputy?" Brooke asked. I'm sure there was a wicked look on my face as I replied, "Toby."

"Noo...!"

"He'd never go for it."

"Anyway, Charlie could be my Deputy Chief of Staff. Zoey could have Brooke's job, and it'd be up to all of you to find your own secretaries."

"What about me?" Mallory asked. I thought for a moment, then said, "Secretary of Education."

"Uh-oh, it won't look good for the Chief of Staff to be dating the EDU secretary."

"Dating? In six years, they'll be married."

"Brooke, have you planned out our lives already?"

"Just up to your firstborn." Sam sighed dramatically. "God help us." Mal laughed. Donna asked, "What about me?" I started to reply, but Brooke beat me to it. "You'll be traveling around the world as First Lady, of course. Either that or taking care of your three children."

"Three?" I asked as Donna said, "You've planned our lives too?" then to me, "Sure, three."

"I've had more time to plan your lives cause you've been more obvious."

"Not."

"Too." "Too." "Yes."

"Not."

"I wish I had video of you two before you came to your senses. Too." I sighed and shook my head. It was no good arguing your friends when they had you out numbered three to one. Sam looked at his watch. "We need to go," he said, looking at Mallory. She looked back, then said, "Oh, you want me to get up," very sarcastically. Sam rolled his eyes as she stood. "I didn't think you take my dumping you on the ground very well."

"You're right about that." They left, arms around each other. A few minutes passed in relative silence. I glanced down at Donna, then mouthed to Brooke, "Is she asleep?" Brooke nodded with a slight smile on her face. I lightly kissed the top of her head and rested my head on the back of the couch. I sighed and closed my eyes.

***********

I think Josh thought I was asleep. I did have my eyes closed and hadn't said a word for ten minutes, but I was awake. I heard Brooke sigh happily. "They are so perfect together."

"I know." I could picture the grins CJ and Brooke had on their faces. "They thought we'd be mad at them," CJ said softly with a hint of amusement in her voice. "How could we be mad at them? I honestly think they were the last ones to realize how they felt about each other."

"Mm-hmm." They lapsed into silence again. I heard someone stand up, then CJ said, "I've gotta go. Are you gonna wake them up?"

"No. It's not the first time they've slept on my couch. First time they've been asleep together on my couch, but both have crashed here on various occasions. Actually, I think most of the Senior Staff has slept here at one time or another."

"Everyone?"

"Except for Leo."

"Huh. Okay. I'll see you tomorrow. Even Toby?"

"Yep. I think he was drunk though."

"Okay."

"See ya." I heard the door close, then Brooke spread a blanket over Josh and I. "Night you two," she said, half-laughing. I sighed contentedly and managed to fall asleep.

 

TBC


	2. Rumors and Volcanoes 2

 

Part II

"Josh, you have to go."

"Why?"

"Because the President of the United States has issued an order to you. He is in charge of the 82nd Airforce Division, I remind you."

"He likes me too much to bomb my house."

"Don't bet on it." I rolled over and looked up at Donna. She was perched on the corner of my bed, fully dressed and wide-awake. "Donna, it's two-thirty in the morning."

"Yes, and the plane leaves in forty-five minutes. Get up. I made coffee." I sighed and rolled back onto my side. "I didn't want to do this," she muttered, then turned on all the lights in the room full blast. I yelped and dove under the covers. "Josh, don't make me get out the ice water," she said wearily. I groaned and stumbled out of bed.

Thirty minutes later, we'd arrived at the airport. I handed my report to the President as we boarded, then found a comfy chair and settled down to sleep. Seven full minutes passed before the President's ungodly chipper voice broke through the half-sleep fog I'd been in. "Josh, this is great! I think you should read it aloud to the Press. I'm sure they'll appreciate knowing that the Staff is so well educated." I groaned and shook my head. Choosing to ignore me, Bartlet continued, "Great, I knew you'd agree. Try reading it about an hour before we land, so they'll be fully informed." With that, he practically skipped away. I heard Donna laughing and turned to glare at her. She was seated in the chair across from me, coffee cup in hand. "Get me some coffee?"

"Nope."

"Donna, please. It's three ten in the morning."

"No. And don't forget about what we discussed." I sighed and nodded as she stood and walked away. Donna and I had to act like Boss and Assistant, nothing more. The plane was loaded with press members, all eager to see if any rumors had truth to them. 

The flight passed relatively uneventfully. I talked my way out of having to read my report, choosing instead to bribe the Press Corps to say I had. The President found out I'd slipped out of it as we landed, but he couldn't do anything about it.

After a twelve hour stint in Oregon to have environmentalist lobby talks in attempts to pacify the recent drop in, we headed up to Washington. Leo called, pleading loss of sanity from Marbury and promising to pay Donna her hundred dollars later. Leo had bribed her to take Marbury off his hands. She'd told me how great he was to be mean.

***********

"Donna, we're landing. Wake up." I blinked to see Sam standing over me. I think he was glad to get away from the office- and Toby. I stood and looked around for Josh. "He's arguing with the President about his report again," Sam replied in answer to my unspoken question. I sighed and shook my head. "Mr. President, there are four different sources that quote Jimmy Carter as saying tha," Josh said. The President shook his head. "Then four different sources are wrong," he said. "Mr. President, we're landing," I said. He nodded then asked, "Where's Charlie?"

"I'm not sure, sir. I'd imagine he's with Zoey somewhere."

"It's an airplane. There aren't that many places to hide."

"I think they're just trying to spend some time together without you looking over their shoulders. With all due respect."

"Fine, whatever. Josh-"

"You're right and I'm wrong, even though that's not true. Happy?"

"Not really, but I'll take what I can get. Let's go." We disembarked and drove in the motorcade over to the hotel.

***********

The next day, the President called my hotel room at five thirty in the morning. He said I was to come on an expedition to the mountain with him. I flatly told him no. After several minutes of debate, it was decided I wouldn't have to climb the mountain, as was the original plan. Instead, the rest of the Staff and I would get to look at the mountain from a distance. "Yippee," I commented dryly to Donna over breakfast. "Have you ever seen Mount St. Helens?" she asked.

"Pictures."

"That doesn't count. Besides, whatever happened to you being an outdoorsman?"

"I was, but then I rediscovered the joys of workaholism." Donna gave me a withering glare.

Two hours later, we were sitting on a flower and grass covered hill about half a mile from the mountain, which the President was attempting to climb. Donna leaned back and stared up at the sky. I sat down next to her and looked up. After a few minutes, I asked, "What are we looking at?" She gave me another glare. I looked away and glanced around. "There aren't any press around, are there?" I asked. Donna shook her head. "No. They're with the President, the poor guys." I laughed and said, "Good." I draped my arm across her shoulders and pulled her closer. "This is nice," she commented, resting her head on my shoulder. I nodded in agreement. The moment was killed a few moments later by Sam coming over. "C'mon, you two," he said. "We've gotta go. Plane takes off in an hour." I groaned and stood, pulling Donna to her feet.

The rest of my flight was spent listening to the President telling me more trivia about the mountain. I was saved mid-way through by a call from Leo, telling us that we'd be given assignments when we got back.


End file.
